When I was a Church of England Priest back in the early ’90’s, I remember being asked on a regular basis by couples a few weeks away from being married, if they could as it were, ‘invent (their own) marriage vows?’ Would it be possible they wanted to know, ‘to say what they really meant?’ as opposed to what the marriage service required them to say. The answer of course was a rather reluctant and sad.

As time has passed and soon-to-be-weds seem to making most of the important decisions for themselves especially as to when, where and perhaps more importantly, how they intend to be married, I wondered if at long last that I (no longer a Priest), might be allowed to let out what has been in my heart and my head for all these years?

So here it is, for what it’s worth, better late than never my ‘Ten Modern Marriage Vows’.
Think about them. Mix and match. Delete and add. But most of all, mean them.

1. We promise…to work in partnership with each other, sharing without reluctance in all areas for the betterment of both our lives.
2. We promise… to recognise each others individuality and acknowledge our partner’s need to express their uniqueness in this complicated world.
3. We promise… to acknowledge each others need for solitude. We recognise that to be alone in one’s own time and space, can be health giving.
4. We promise… to be aware that Love can express itself even in the deepest silence.
5. We promise… that when needed we will heed the call for help, ready always, to stand side by side with each other in the darkness and in the light, willing to fulfil our role as comforter, lover and above all, friend.
6. We promise… to value each others contribution to our future life together. We will weigh, ponder and discuss all proposals and ideas equally, so that we may move forward together in agreement and harmony.
7. We promise… to not only to listen …but to hear.
8. We promise… that to the best of our ability our home, for those that live outside, will be a haven of peace and understanding. This will be a reflection of our love for each other.
9. We promise… that in our life together the truth will always out, that there will be no secrets between us, no darkness, always light.
10. We promise…that should our love for each other become exhausted, we will recognise the end with grace and fortitude. We promise we will always strive to treat each other with respect and patience remembering the beauty of what we once had with gratitude and the realisation that some, never fall in love.

Ian Fred Harris

http://www.thestrumpet.com

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